Zombie chickens

Chickens have it tough – especially if you are a fast-food chicken and destined to be eaten. You are raised as a battery chicken in a tiny cage and fed stuff that fattens you up in order that you can be killed and eaten. However, you do have rights. Animal activist groups have pressured authorities into enforcing legislation on the minimum size of cage you must have, so that you aren’t too stressed out in your short, miserable existence.

However, an act of brilliant creative thinking could change battery chicken raising forever. The ‘minimum space’ legislation applies to live chickens – so what if they weren’t technically alive? There is a plan to behead the chickens and then to keep them from dying by pushing a tube down their necks to feed them with nutrients and with another tube up their rear-ends to remove the waste. These zombie chickens can then be hung up and you can get four of these zombie chickens in the same space required for one live chicken.

What the zombie chicken principle is good for is in helping us to think differently. If we were looking for a great focus statement for a thinking issue, then to start it with the phrase ‘How can we get a four-fold increase (or decrease) in…’ would be a powerful issue to address. There are stimuli for creative thinking in almost everything we read – if we think about it carefully.

If anyone decided to make a horror film about these zombie chickens, they might want to call it Poultrygeist. Sorry about that tasteless comment. And also about that morsel. And also about… oh, never mind.

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